DeathSpank is ready to help!

One of the calls for help left in the comments thread will be selected to win a Hothead t-shirt!

“DeathSpank is ready to help! Too often the call for justice goes unheard because of downtrodden old technologies, like butter churns and rotary telephones. Use your mighty blog reading devices to tell DeathSpank of your need for justice. Only the most outrageously dangerous calls for justice will be answered! Be they challenges physical, intellectual or technological, DeathSpank will answer the call!”

You can also call ‘The Hero Line’ 1.866.631.1574 to have justice shoved right in your ear!

Here we have Sam, Jim and Derek from our QA team modeling the three t-shirt models that we have available to choose from:


26 Responses to “DeathSpank is ready to help!”

  1. admin says:

    Seems we’ve lost comments to this post in our transition over to the new webpage! That sucks…

    We awarded the prize, rest assured. I’ll see if I can get the comments resurrected.

  2. mateus says:

    I’m pressing “F1″ and you are not here…

  3. fr000nc says:

    Oh, I cry for thee, Dealer of the Righteous Smack, Savior of Flooring Inspectors and Slayer of Dragons (but not too fire-breathing-monster-ish, rather reasonably-sized-ish). Rescue me from this madness I dwell in and let me not fall into this dark oblivion. Enslaved under cold waters of Sea of Tears I am and all hope abandoned me*. I can offer no reward but eternal fame and glory.

    *(Disturbance from Mighty Virgin Lobsters of Castration and reasonably sized Monstrous Vicious Crabs of Doom may be involved).

  4. Purswader says:

    *Cry of anguish of a chicken*

  5. Yeetamart says:

    Please help us Deathspank! I accidentally divided something by 0 during math lessons, and now my university is about to implode!

  6. William says:


    I accidentally spilled some jam at my shorts at breakfast on monday, and was afraid someone would see. I tried washing it out with my spit, but it made me look like I peed myself. I was so emasculated and embarrassed that I returned home and napped, and I’m still afraid to leave my house. I only have one pair of shorts.

    Help! Send me a justicey t-shirt to rejuvenate my mojo and return to the world confident once more!

  7. Ace2020boyd says:

    Deathspank i need your help to….. Destroy no …I mean save the world from”evil”

  8. Nude Nick says:

    Someone stole my clothes! I need justice!

  9. Maratanos says:

    Hey, so, um, Deathspank? I kindof accidentally turned my girlfriend into a ham sandwich. Honestly, I really wasn’t expecting my shoes to do that. Could you try to get this fixed? I’m getting hungry and I don’t want to eat her.

  10. Bernard Bernoulli says:

    Purple Tentacle drank some of the Toxic Waste from Dr. Fred’s Sludge-o-matic, and now he’s become a genius bend on world domination! Not only that, but my friends Laverne and Hoagie are stuck in time! Please help us stop Purple Tentacle’s nefarious plans and help my friends get back to good old 1993!

  11. Anonymous says:
  12. paul says:

    Oh great and beloved DeathSpank we, the pc gaming community desperately need to play your game!!!

  13. paul says:

    I need you to dispense an erector a.s.a.p. !!!!!

  14. Icebox says:

    Deathspank: I need you to blow up the sun.

  15. Kroms says:

    Deathspank! My grandma’s kitty is stuck up on a tree and causing a racket. Please helps us get her down! Because when I say “kitty” I mean “pet jaguar” and when I say “causing a racket” I mean “eating the neighbourhood children”, so the neighborhood watch is going to shoot it down from the tree any minute now with a big gun, and that’s just not fair! If you can’t blame the Pope for shielding pedophiles, then you can’t blame a cat for eating. They’re both natural, right? That kitty harmed nobody (I saw at least two of the deaths and they were quick and painless). Help us take the cat down and save it before they shoot! HELP!!!

  16. Aububuh says:

    Deathspank, my evil twin accidentally ripped open a hole in the universe throwing the space-time continuum into chaos. Dinosaurs are raining from the sky in New York! Dogs are marrying cats! Worst of all, the underwear I bought last week is too tight! Please help!

  17. Joaquin says:

    Deathspank,there are some morons new gamers in my school,that think that shooters of second world war with huge graphics are the best,can you kill them?(with a copy of monkey island would be fine)

  18. Goldilocks says:

    Oh righteous Deathspank! I have lost the bounce from my curly gold locks!
    Whatever am I to do to catch the eye of a handsome nobleman?

  19. Oh Deathspank! I need some strapping gentleman to do my house work. Can you help me? Vaccuum my living room? Fold my laundry? Iron my pillowcases?

  20. Craig says:

    Help, I need Justice dispensed with a side order of bacon, eh!

  21. AlfredJ says:

    Hey, DeathBreath, I challenge you. The winner gets the world. And some taco’s. See you at the Palace of the Dazed Virgin. Bring your fists.

  22. deathbygrogg says:

    DeathSpank, i’m out of beer. Please help.

  23. SilverWolfPet says:

    DeathSpank, DeathSpank! I need your help, for my weak fingers are no longer of use to my poor brain. I need to peel potatoes for my little brother… … what? I need your help, dude!!